It's true I really do feel like I am loving life. Don't get me wrong, I am not where I want to be by any stretch of the imagination, but I know I will get there.
That is the difference "I know I WILL get there" I don't feel like I am pushing through a wall of fog anymore. I am really loving the journey.
A #12WBT friend wrote on her blog about excuses. I don't really thing I made
excuses, but I did make bad decisions based on my feelings at the time. Those
feelings were deeply flawed, but, if I had not made those decisions, I may not
have reached this point. I have taken ownership of the decisions I made (good
and bad) and I am moving on.
Every decision that I made was shaped by some event in my life at the
time. I have made HUGE mistakes and I have had HUGE triumphs. Isn't that what
life is about?The difference is that now I won't reflect on the mistakes, I will reflect on my triumphs and try and learn from mistakes and disappointments.
I will not run away anymore. If you asked me 20 weeks ago if I ran, I would have told you to stick your head in because "you don't know me". Now I say "Yes! that was the old me" Now I will stay and take ownership of all my actions and accept the consequences.
I am loving life and laughing more and "not sweating the small stuff" I appreciate my life, my job and my family more than I ever have because, I realise... I cannot do this alone. I do need people I love in my life. I am not indestructible. But, I also know that this doesn't make me weak. It makes me human. With all of the failings of a human being. I am sitting at the computer writing this and smiling. I can't remember the last time that I smiled so much. :) :) :)
Fellow Travellers I am more than ready to continue this interesting, painful, overwhelming and uplifting road with you. BRING IT ON !!!
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